Turnbull announces radical #climate policy overhaul. #auspol

turnbullat-npcPrime Minister Malcolm Turnbull today announced a series of sweeping new measures on Australian climate policy. Speaking at the National Press Club, he advocated an “ignorant” energy policy and the creation of “security and preposterousness” for the Coalition’s grip on power.

Turnbull announced a review of the Renewable Energy Target, the first such review in almost a year, to counter growing investor confidence. He told the assembled hacks

“I will be appointing my good friend and colleague Senator Malcolm Roberts to chair the Renewable Energy Target Committee on Harmonisation (RETCH ). This will send a clear signal to investors that China is open for business. It is an exciting and innovative time to be alive.”

Questioned on this by the chair of the event, Chris ‘wind power increased the risk of a state-wide blackout‘ Uhlmann, Turnbull continued

“The RET was never intended to be perpetual. The only thing that is perpetual in all this is the Coalition’s inability to accept the need to do something substantive on climate, ‘kay?”

Turnbull also lamented the lack of progress on carbon policy capture and storage since 2009.

“In 2009 I went to see Dave ‘Vote Blue Go Green’ Cameron about conservative climate policy. I flew back, and – frankly I was still a bit jet-lagged – I went on the bloody radio and said ‘ I will not lead a party that is not as committed to effective action on climate change as I am.‘ Well, we all know how THAT ended, now don’t we? And since then I’ve been personally committed to the storage of all hopes and promises for a real climate policy. I’ve expended enormous amounts of political capital. All of it, in fact.”

Turnbull also found time to extol the virtues of super-dooper, ultra hypocritical coal power.

“For almost three decades the Australian state and the “Australian” coal industry – it is hard to tell the difference-  have worked hand in hand to slow down international action on climate change. I mean, seriously, why would we do anything else? It would be like British American Tobacco funding ‘quit smoking’ campaigns. It’s just not going to happen. We came up with endless dodgy economic models to ‘prove’ Australia was a special case and that the sky would fall if so much as one lump of coal wasn’t dug up and burnt. We got a sweet sweet deal at Kyoto and still refused to ratify. We worked with the Americans to set up spoiler operations like the AP6. We refused to send a proper delegation to conferences after the Copenhagen debacle. We blathered about ‘newgencoal.’ This is a feature, not a bug, people. This is just who we are.”

Labor’s climate change spokesman, Mark Butler, seized on the prime minister’s announcement of the RETCH, and said: “Post-2020, there is no national policy incentive to invest in new renewable generation. Solar panels and wind turbines make voters feel good, but what is actually needed is regulation and a price on carbon that sends a long, loud and legal signal to everyone. But the ALP remembers what happened to it after our last adventures in pricing carbon. We have the PTSD diagnosis to prove it too. So look, here’s a picture of a solar panel with a blonde moppet in front of it!”

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